| Contents: Preparing to Die: Practical Advice and Spiritual Wisdom from the Tibetan Buddhist Tradition. A guide fo those facing death and for their caregivers, including teachings from the great masters and useful advice on navigating end-of-life issues by Andrew Holecek |
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| Foreword by Tulku Thondup Rinpoche |
1 |
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Introduction
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3 |
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Part One: Spiritual Preparation
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1. WHAT TO DO FOR YOURSELF BEFORE YOU DIE
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15 |
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Living a Good Life, Learning to Let Go
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15 |
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Practices and Teachings to Prepare You for Death
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18 |
Shamatha Meditation
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18 |
Vipashyana Meditation
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21 |
The Four Reminders
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22 |
Doctrinal Preparation
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26 |
Tonglen
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28 |
Reverse Meditations
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29 |
Pure Land Practice
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33 |
Preparation for Sudden Death
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37 |
Noble Truths
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38 |
Devotion
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42 |
The Bardos and the Trikaya
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44 |
Mind Leads All Things
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53 |
Phowa
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54 |
Shitro and Vajrasattva Practice
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57 |
Working with Passion
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58 |
Insurance Dharma
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59 |
Dharma Wills and the Dharma Box
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61 |
Final Advice
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63 |
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| 2. WHAT YOU CAN DO FOR OTHERS BEFORE THEY DIE |
65 |
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| 3. WHAT TO DO FOR YOURSELF AS YOU DIE |
67 |
Letting Go
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68 |
Dissolution and Signs
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70 |
Outer Dissolution
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73 |
What Is Happening?
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76 |
Inner Dissolution
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78 |
Tukdam
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82 |
The Peaceful and Wrathful Visions
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83 |
The Hourglass
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85 |
Conclusion
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89 |
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| 4. WHAT TO DO FOR OTHERS AS THEY DIE |
91 |
The View
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91 |
Sacred Listening
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94 |
Hopes and Fears of the Dying
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96 |
Holding Environments
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97 |
Creating the Environment
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100 |
Looking Forward
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101 |
Advice from Sogyal Rinpoche
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102 |
Telling the Truth
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105 |
Fears about Dying
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106 |
Unfinished Business
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107 |
Giving Hope and Finding Forgiveness
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107 |
Saying Goodbye
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108 |
Toward a Peaceful Death
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109 |
By the Bedside of the Dying
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110 |
Dedicating Our Death
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111 |
Letting Go of Attachment
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112 |
The Grace of Prayer at the Moment of Death
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113 |
The Atmosphere for Dying
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113 |
Esoteric Practices
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115 |
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| 5. WHAT TO DO FOR YOURSELF AFTER YOU DIE |
117 |
The View
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117 |
First Step
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121 |
After Remembering
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123 |
Other Practices
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127 |
Advice from The Tibetan Book of the Dead
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127 |
Blocking
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129 |
Bright and Soft Lights
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132 |
Choosing
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133 |
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| 5. WHAT TO DO FOR OTHERS AFTER THEY DIE |
139 |
The View
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139 |
When to Help
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142 |
The Power of Merit
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144 |
Reading The Tibetan Book of the Dead
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148 |
Sur Offering
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149 |
Commissioning Monasteries
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150 |
Monastic Rituals and Ceremonies for the Dead
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151 |
Gelugpa Rituals
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156 |
Summary
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158 |
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| Part Two: Practical Preparation |
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| 7. BEFORE DEATH APPROACHES |
161 |
Legal Issues
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163 |
More on Living Wills and Advance Directives
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169 |
Legal Concerns Before, During, and After Death, by Alex Halpern, JD
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173 |
Wills
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175 |
Disposition of Property
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178 |
Trusts
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178 |
The LivingWill and the Medical Power of Attorney
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180 |
Demystifying Hospice: An Underused Service at End of Life, by Beth Patterson, MA, LPC, JD
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184 |
The History of the Hospice Movement
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184 |
The American Hospice Movement and the Medicare Hospice Benefit
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185 |
Buddhism and the Hospice Movement
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186 |
The Services of Hospice
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187 |
What Does hospice Care Look Like?
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188 |
The importance of Managing Pain
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189 |
Conclusion
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190 |
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| 8. CARING FOR THE DYING |
191 |
The Need of the Dying, by Christine Longaker
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191 |
The Five Psychological Stages of Dying and Medical Issues Around Death, by Mitchell Gershten, MD
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197 |
The Five Psychological Stages of Dying
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198 |
The Five Stages in Loved Ones
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200 |
Biological Changes
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200 |
Hydration, Nutrition, and Pain Control
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203 |
Physical Signs and Symptoms of Dying, by Andrew Holecek
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206 |
Spiritual Matrix
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217 |
Empty the Disease
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219 |
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| 9. AFTER DEATH |
223 |
After-Death Care, by Karen Van Vuuren
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223 |
Caring for Our Own Dead - Is it Legal?
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224 |
Funeral Directors
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225 |
First Steps Following an Expected Death
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226 |
Care of the Body After Death
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227 |
Rigor Mortis
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227 |
Don't Do It Alone
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228 |
A Sacred Space
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228 |
A Suggested Checklist of Items for Physical Care of the Body
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228 |
Bathing
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229 |
Dressing
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230 |
Temporary Preservation Methods
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230 |
Dry Ice
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231 |
Caskets
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232 |
Unexpected Death
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232 |
Odors and Changes at Death
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233 |
Options for Final Disposition - Cremation or Burial
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234 |
Burial at a Conventional Cemetery
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234 |
Green Burial in an Established Conventional Cemetery
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234 |
Green Burial at a Conservation Burial Site or Green Burial Preserve
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235 |
Home Burial
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235 |
Cremation in a Conventional Crematory
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236 |
Open-Air Cremation
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237 |
What to Do with the Cremains
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238 |
Other Options for Final Disposition
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238 |
Donation
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239 |
Exposing Children to Death
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239 |
Working with Grief, by Kim Mooney
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241 |
Working with Grief from a Buddhist Perspective, by Andrew Holecek
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246 |
The Relative Approach
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246 |
The Power and Peril of Pain
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248 |
Anticipatory Grief
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250 |
Compassion and Devotion
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251 |
The Absolute Approach
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252 |
The Joy of Inter-being
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255 |
Conclusion
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257 |
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| 10. DIFFICULT ISSUES |
259 |
Organ Donation
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261 |
Euthanasia
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262 |
Suicide
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265 |
Abortion and Miscarriage
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268 |
Death of a Pet
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270 |
Conclusion
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271 |
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| Part Three: Heart Advice from Spiritual Masters |
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| HEART ADVICE FROM SPIRITUAL MASTERS |
275 |
Anam Thubten Rinpoche
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275 |
Anyen Rinpoche
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277 |
Bardor Tulku Rinpoche
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277 |
Chokyi Nyima Rinpoche
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279 |
Dilyak Drupon Rinpoche
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280 |
Dzigar Kongtrul Rinpoche
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283 |
Dzongsar Khyentse Rinpoche
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286 |
Jetsun Khandro Rinpoche
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287 |
Khenpo Karthar Rinpoche
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288 |
Lama Tharchin Rinpoche
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289 |
Mingyur Rinpoche
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291 |
Namkha Drimed Rinpoche
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292 |
Dzogchen Ponlop Rinpoche
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297 |
Tenga Rinpoche
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299 |
Tenzin Wangyal Rinpoche
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300 |
Thrangu Rinpoche
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301 |
Tsoknyi Rinpoche
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303 |
Tulku Thondup Rinpoche
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306 |
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| Acknowledgments |
309 |
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| Appendix 1: Checklists |
311 |
Spiritual Checklist
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311 |
Farewell Checklist
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312 |
Bardo Package
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314 |
Practical Checklist
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315 |
Other Contacts to Be Made After Someone Dies
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318 |
Financial Responsibilities After Death
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319 |
In the Event of Sudden Death
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320 |
Be Aware
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321 |
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| Appendix 2: Things You Can Write to Prepare for Death |
325 |
Letters of Forgiveness, and Saying Goodbye
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325 |
Writing Your Own Eulogy and Obituary
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325 |
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| Appendix 3: Depression and Grief |
327 |
Symptoms That Suggest a Bereaved Person Is Also Depressed
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327 |
Who Is at Risk for Depression After a Loss?
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328 |
Treatment for Grief and Depression
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328 |
Depressive Grief vs. Depression
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329 |
What Might I Expect When I Am Grieving?
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330 |
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| Notes |
333 |
| Selected Bibliography |
397 |
| Contributors |
407 |
| Index |
409 |
