Drawing from Buddhist and yogic precepts, this practical guide offers tools for becoming a better, more compassionate communicator at home, at work, and in the world

Have you ever tried to tell someone what you want only to feel misunderstood and frustrated? Or hesitated to ask for what you needed because you didn't want to burden the other person? Or been stuck in blame or anger that wouldn't go away?

Judith and Ike Lasater, long-term students of yoga and Buddhism, experienced dilemmas like these, too. Even though they had studied the yoga principle of satya (truth) and the Buddhist precept of right speech, it was not until they began practicing Marshall Rosenberg's techniques of Nonviolent Communication (NVC) that they understood how to live satya and right speech.

In What We Say Matters, Judith and Ike describe their journey through NVC and how speech becomes a spiritual practice based on giving and receiving with compassion--everywhere, all the time--whether at home, at work, or in the world. Their writing is deeply personal, punctuated by their recounts of trial and error, success and failure, laughter and challenge--even in writing this book! They guide you through an introduction to NVC with clear explanations, poignant examples, suggested exercises, and helpful resources. With practice, you'll learn new ways to:

• Extend empathy to yourself and others
• Distinguish between feelings and needs
• Make requests rather than demands
• Choose connection over conflict
• Create mutually satisfying outcomes

What We Say Matters: Practicing Nonviolent Communication, Judith Hanson Lasater and Ike K. Lasater, Shambhala, Paperback, 176 pages, $19.95

Judith Hanson Lasater has taught yoga since 1971. She holds a doctorate in East-West psychology and is a physical therapist. Dr. Lasater is the president emeritus of the California Yoga Teachers Association and is one of the founders of Yoga Journal magazine. She trains yoga teachers in asana, kinesiology, yoga therapeutics, and the Yoga Sutras, and she leads workshops and retreats throughout the US and abroad. She is a pioneer in the teaching and practice of Restorative yoga. Dr. Lasater writes extensively about yoga. Her feature articles, columns, and essays appear in numerous books, magazines, and anthologies. She is the author of eleven books on yoga.

Ike Lasater, JD, MCP, helps organizations and individuals develop the capacity to collaboratively clarify and achieve their objectives. He also acts as a private mediator, facilitating conversations and connection among people in conflict. He co-founded The Yoga Journal with Judith Lasater in 1975.

CONTENTS: What We Say Matters
Preface		xiii
Acknowledgments		xvii
Introduction: Why We Wrote This Book		1
1.	Satya and Right Speech	7
2.	Nonviolent Communication	13
3.	Four Communication Choices	37
4.	Listening to Ourselves and Others	59
5.	What We Say Matters	71
6.	Talking to Our Partners	87
7.	Talking to Our Children and Parents	103
8.	Talking at Work	119
9.	Talking in the World	145
Resources		153
About the Authors		156